Why do we stop trying and put out our passions?

by Psychology0 comments


First touch

First kisses

First butterflies in the belly…







Remember those times?

Then you felt constant commitment and excitement.

You wanted to spend every free moment with your partner.

Now let’s think together, what has changed and why?




You’re going to the store with the idea of buying a new smartphone. You choose a colour, model and set of accessories. You go to the checkout and buy the phone of your choice. You’re happy. You’re happy and can’t wait to start personalising your new purchase. A month or two passes and the phone becomes a daily reality for you, you stop appreciating it. The excitement drops and the equipment becomes the norm for you. You’re still enjoying it, but without much emotion.




Why is this happening?


Because we like the ‘new’. Newness is exciting, and when we have a given thing for a long time, it becomes a part of our everyday life and the emotions connected with it fall down. The same assumption applies to our partners. You meet a new person. You want to spend as much time with her as possible because you are curious about her and she surprises you constantly. You try to take care of your appearance, smell and impression before the meeting. It is very important for you to show your best side. You talk and laugh a lot. You get to know each other better and better. After a while your emotions normalise and each subsequent meeting is natural for you. You don’t have to try as hard as before. It’s been two years. You are still together, but you have more and more crises. Passion has decreased to such an extent that you don’t even show it by hugging. You are bored with yourselves and you think you know each other through and through. The limit of conversations has also been exhausted. You’re wondering what to do here. You think that maybe you don’t fit in with each other and you will find a person who will not let this passion and willingness within a relationship die.




You are taking a risk.




You meet another man. It’s wonderful. You meet regularly, you have common interests and passions, you talk a lot and there is a thread of emotion between you. You need to be close to each other. Years go by and your relationship starts to weaken, just like the previous one. You are wondering again why this is so? Maybe this man, just like the previous one, is not appropriate. You start to feel anxiety and a fear of loneliness.






The phase of strong infatuation passes quickly. Sometimes it lasts a year, sometimes three years. After that time, the emotions of the other person normalise and we start to think rationally. After this time, we know our partner: both his pros and cons. We stop idealising his behaviour and start to see the pure truth. Our relationship becomes routine and we may start to be overwhelmed by it, and it probably happens often.








We must remember one very important thing: every relationship will work in the same way.




. . .




After time it will no longer be as exciting for us as it was at the beginning, and the decision to give it up by not having new emotions is impulsive and strongly immature.



We must be aware of how we function.

We must be aware that love is more than just eternal butterflies in the belly.

We must be aware that love evolves and becomes more mature over time, and that this maturity can be associated with greater rationality and less emotionality.




. . .




Let’s not cross out our relationships because of falling emotions. No matter what the relationship is. No matter who you build it with, the important thing is that after time it will become known to us, and when we get to know something closer, our curiosity decreases. It is a natural and inevitable process. We, on the other hand, with our commitment and willingness to create a long, developing and serious relationship, can work on our passion and closeness.








Aneta Sznicer

Aneta Sznicer

Founder of Mood & Read, HR specialist, copywriter, marketer, and soon to be psychologist. I help people achieve their goals by teaching social skills. Personally, I love playing the piano, dancing and singing. Anything to do with music helps me to find myself in reality. If you listen carefully, you will be able to hear your emotions. If you are able to hear them, you will know yourself even better and stronger. Thank you for visiting my website. It is a pleasure to get to know you.

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