This is my place…

by Psychology0 comments

Have you ever wondered why people are dissatisfied with their lives and why they feel constant overwhelm and stress?










Imagine you’re locked in a small apartment. It is divided into one small room, kitchen and bathroom. The apartment is fully paid with access to water and electricity. In addition, you get a certain amount of money per month, which is fully sufficient to buy food and things for everyday life. You can invite anyone to the apartment and do everything without restrictions. There is one small hook: You cannot leave it.




Now it is time to ask: What are you missing?




Each of us is to some extent individualistic. The difference is that some are more and some are less. Even as young children, most of us have been taught that we go to bed by ourselves, eat food by ourselves and walk by ourselves. Our parents taught us how to do these things, but after acquiring them we started to do them ourselves.




Why did this happen?


To develop an individualism in us, which is a necessary feature of life. If it wasn’t for us separating from our parents, we wouldn’t have been able to do anything by ourselves, and thus lack a sense of freedom. We would feel a great dependence on other people, and thanks to its lack we are free people. It doesn’t matter if we are in a relationship, marriage, or single. We need freedom and independence because we have developed these behaviours by learning basic activities.



What does a person need to fully feel his or her freedom?


Let us think about it. Freedom is the ability to do everything: from making decisions, traveling, changing places of residence, changing jobs and developing oneself – to fulfilling one’s dreams and needs. In order to be able to realise the above mentioned examples you need a lot of space, that is…








This is the answer to the puzzle.




A man needs space to live. This is the key thing that affects one’s whole life, and we can only be unaware of how much. We are talking about space, both private and complete. At the beginning let’s focus on the place we live in, that is private space.



Who among us does not feel like screaming loudly after a hard day?

Who doesn’t feel like sometimes being in total silence alone?

Who doesn’t feel like sometimes having a hot bath and relaxing?

Who doesn’t feel like turning on the music on loudly sometimes?




That is why space is very important. It allows us to behave and act freely without feeling restricted.

Do we want to shout? We shout.

Do we want the music loud? We turn it on.

With a lot of space, we can realise ourselves and feel at ease, regardless of others.



The second very important thing is not feeling overwhelmed. We humans, as individualists, need solitude, i.e. spending time with ourselves. If we do not have it, not only do we feel bad, it has a negative impact on our closest relationships.




A few years ago I met a girl who was madly in love with a good male friend of mine. They wanted to live together as soon as possible. School is over and it’s time to study so they decided to leave and live together. They moved to Wroclaw and together they rented a one-room apartment to reduce their monthly costs. Do you think it was a good decision to live together for three years in a small studio apartment?



I’ll say this. It was one of the worst decisions in their lives. They destroyed their relationship by lack of private space. They’re not together anymore, and the girl who used to love her boyfriend sadly said those words:




“We destroyed ourselves. I’m his, and he’s mine. You know, I wanted to watch a movie tonight, he wanted to read a book. We were arguing all the time. There were no two rooms so we couldn’t get along. I was tired of not having a moment’s freedom. I couldn’t sit alone when I needed it and couldn’t relax. There was such a crowd that we couldn’t stand it. I will never live with anyone in such a small apartment again. No matter who my partner is. I know it was the lack of space that caused my relationship to break up.”




Every person becomes annoyed if we spend too much time with them. Each of us has the need to separate and distance ourselves at certain stages of life. There is a need to get to know the world, so our personal space is also important. Here I would not like to limit myself to examples. I understand personal space in relation to the whole world. If we look at how small we are compared to our world, we will understand how many things we can still know or get.











Aneta Sznicer

Aneta Sznicer

Founder of Mood & Read, HR specialist, copywriter, marketer, and soon to be psychologist. I help people achieve their goals by teaching social skills. Personally, I love playing the piano, dancing and singing. Anything to do with music helps me to find myself in reality. If you listen carefully, you will be able to hear your emotions. If you are able to hear them, you will know yourself even better and stronger. Thank you for visiting my website. It is a pleasure to get to know you.

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