You meet your friends to watch a movie. They choose an emotional film. You start to make sense of the film and you get to the point that makes you feel moved. You just feel like crying. You look to the sides and you see that none of the others are moved, no tears are running down their cheeks, only you. You start to feel uncomfortable, so you change the focus of your thoughts in order to not burst into a sobbing fit. Why is it that you are ashamed of your emotion and don’t want to show it to people? Have you thought about that?
To answer that question we have to go back to the past years; whenl you were a small child and your parents commented on your behavior. Notice the tendency that quite we often encounter a lack of emotionality among men, much greater than among women. When I observe young parents around me I often hear such messages addressed to my young child:
Why do you cry?
Often there are also comments about boys, which indicate that crying is a sign of weakness. After all, being a man we must be brave. We cannot afford to show the other side of our emotions! These are not the real men. What nonsense. A real man…
He is strong
He’s manly and brave
Is any of these qualities excluded with sensitivity?
Everyone should be sensitive because it open yourself up to other people. So why don’t we let our children cry? What’s wrong with expressing their emotions in a natural way? Crying for a child is advisable because it causes emotional discharge without leading to aggression. By prohibiting this activity we suppress our child’s emotions inside and they stay inside by not reacting. We stop approaching the world around us emotionally, everything becomes neutral, and we turn into indifferent people.
Neutral to the harm of another person.
Indifferent to the sadness of the other person.
Indifferent to the happiness of the other person.
Would you like to be able to move on without restraint?
Turn on a movie that’s hard for you to watch. Watch it yourself and get into it. Try to cry. Cry so that tears run down your cheeks and don’t be ashamed or afraid of it. Crying is amazing. Let’s love to cry and learn to do it together. First start with yourself, then show your child your tears.
Show him that you are not ashamed to open up to him/her emotionally. Make his future life easier for him and show him that we shouldn’t be ashamed of any emotions, even the most revealing ones.