We’re all jealous, and it’s no wonder. There’s nothing wrong with envying people for something we don’t have. We can envy our boyfriend’s friend, we can envy our cousin’s house, we can envy another’s culinary skills, we can envy another’s beauty. We can envy everything. And why do we do this? Envy people of everything? Do we focus more on the things they have and we don’t? We can also be jealous of somebody else’s partner. This mainly refers to their relationship. As I have written before, there is nothing wrong with that because jealousy itself can and should be treated as a healthy phenomenon.

Let’s consider such an example:

 

 

 

You have a guy, a handsome guy. A lot of women on the street are watching him as he walks past. One evening you go to a party and one of your friends approaches him and clearly starts flirting with him. Then most likely, if your feelings are honest with him, you’ll get jealous. Positive jealousy. We’re not talking about exaggeration; which presents a lot of women with respect to their men perhaps through a lack of trust. We’re talking about the ordinary, human nature that manifests itself in such emotions.

Is the jealousy addressed in this example inadequate for any of you?

If you think yes, think again. It shows the love and need of the other person. It shows the importance of that person for himself or herself, and what is more important than the sense of importance to your partner? Be happy if your partner is jealous of you. It means no indifference and a lack of jealousy is connected with constantly drifting emotions, which direct our life and create its colours.

Going back to exaggeration. Where does it come from?

Some people don’t control their level of jealousy. They are so determined that even the closest people can wish badly for themselves and nothing has prevented them from achieving their goal. How did you say that? After the corpse to the target. That’s when jealousy leads to envy. Jealousy is a negative emotion because it is directed to the detriment of another person, that is, colloquially speaking, “we wish someone bad luck”. Between jealousy and envy there is a thin line, the crossing of which can cause very drastic effects. Let’s come back to the above example of a woman’s jealousy towards her guy. Jealousy would arise when the woman would be so jealous of her partner that she would want him to become, say, less attractive.

And why?

The answer is simple: he’d stop being picked up by other women. In her jealous thoughts this woman does not think about her happiness, but more important for her is the misfortune of others. At this point, an unusual situational paradox can be seen because automatically the man’s attractiveness to her would fall and the woman would be satisfied with it. This shows toxicity. Not only of the person itself, the jealous person, but also of the entire male and female relationship because it affects both partners. The woman has no control over herself and her emotions, and the man is affected by her partner’s behaviour. Hence the toxicity has been attributed to the entire relationship.

Do you notice any excessive jealousy in you?

Or a different emotion that’s slowly turning into jealousy?

If so, you suffer from it because it’s all in your head, and you just can’t cope with the emotions. You may be undervalued. Maybe you’re being stifled. Maybe you’re scared. You can change that if you want. Remember that excessive jealousy leads to envy, and these emotions affect you and all the people you burden with them.