First of all, I would like to raise one important issue that you may not have thought about:
Why are you reading this article?
Do you feel ignorance and uncertainty about your partner?
Or do you just prefer to be true to yourselves?
Or maybe out of pure curiosity?
In writing this article, I intend to provide an answer to the thoughts that torment you. Unfortunately, I have to disappoint you, I won’t be able to give you specific behaviours that show a feeling of “He’s the only one, he’s the only one”. And do you know why? Through the subjectivism in which we live. Our evaluations of not only people but also things are completely different. One of us will describe a woman crossing the street as attractive, the other will not even look at her. For one, beauty is the mountain landscape and for the other it’s racing cars. One will be satisfied in winter, the other in summer.
So how can anyone answer your question: “Is my partner the one?” This is unrealistic, because you know best both you and your partner. You can determine what you accept and what you don’t accept. You can think about how you feel about him.
AND YOU ONLY
What can I do? I can only make it easier for you to think about it and make the right decision. I can tell you what to pay attention to and how to analyse your particular behaviour to determine if you want to live with this person.
So lets get to it:
The first thing you should pay attention to is addictions. I often hear from women that their partner has a problem with alcohol because he drinks every day, but he never hurt them so they say it’s no problem. This is incorrect, there is a problem. An alcohol addiction is a disease that affects every relationship you build with an addicted person. Why is there talk of alcoholic families going to therapy too? It’s because of this influence, perhaps invisible at first sight, but incredibly destructive in the context of many years of life. Of course, this is not only about the alcohol problem, although it is one of the most common. It can be about any other addiction that controls a man. A man loses control, stops living, gets into mental problems because he can’t cope, and you think you’ll help him get back on track. You lose this battle with the addiction because you automatically become a passive addict, just like your whole family, which functions with you and your partner in everyday life.
Unfortunately that’s not all, addictions are just one of many problems. There is also the problem of narcissists. A narcissistic personality is a mental disorder, which mainly results in negative consequences for the partner. What is its character? The desire for excessive control, morbid jealousy, lack of respect and involvement in building a healthy relationship. Here it’s also necessary to emphasise the tricks that a narcissist will use to hide his true self. Such a person manipulates through excessive charisma, which allegedly folds towards the positive attributes of a man, but not in this case. It is important to see this in the relationship and to be aware that our partner has such a problem with himself. Then make him aware of his beliefs and try a therapy that can bring incredible benefits if there is only a willingness and readiness to change. The same is true for a toxic partner who introduces a continuous feeling of guilt. You stop developing, you give up your pre-established goals and dreams in favour of a relationship and as a result you are constantly criticised and underestimated. You try to fit in with your partner by force, which makes you lose your once held freedom and you become less and less satisfied with your life. All these elements contribute to the toxicity of a relationship.
Now think about your partner and yourself and answer the question:
Does any of the above behaviour affect your partner or yourself?
If you answered this question in the negative, it means that you are not facing heavyweight problems, and you and your partner may be experiencing a crisis, which is part of any healthy relationship. This is why you are wondering if you are sure you fit together and if this is a person for better or for worse. Every worse stage in the relationship, which comes sooner or later, may result in even greater closeness and stability of the relationship after it is resolved. Everything depends on your attitude and point of view. It all depends on whether you accept your partner’s flaws and whether you are able to live with them, bearing in mind that everyone has them. Don’t give up too quickly because nobody said that the next relationship would be better…
. . .
It’s up to you. You have two options, and each of them has risks. You can continue to be with your partner and love him more and more, or you can part with him and go on the road to the unknown.
Ask yourself one last question:
Does your relationship make you happy and can you imagine living without your partner?