I have an aggressive boyfriend.

by Psychology0 comments







Do you associate these three words with your boyfriend?


If the answer is no, you probably don’t have an aggressive partner.

If the answer is yes, you have an aggressive partner.


Have you ever wondered why you chose an aggressive person to form a relationship?








There are two sensible answers that explain your choice:

– you are an aggressive person yourself

– you need aggression




I’m aggressive myself…


I always enjoy situations when one person shouts to another “don’t be aggressive” while clearly indicating their aggression This is human nature. We are able to focus and point out mistakes to the other person without seeing our own behaviour. It’s a kind of hypocrisy in people. It’s no coincidence that aggression breeds aggression. You think your partner is aggressive for no reason? Have you ever wondered if you’re not aggressive to them in any other way? I’d like to point out that aggression is not just about handcuffs and screaming.





Aggression can be simple words.

Aggression can be sight.

Aggression can be facial expressions.

Aggression can be the tone of speech.





We don’t think about it when our partner becomes aggressive. We do not think about whether he has been provoked or if we have shown any signs of aggression towards him before. We don’t think about it, because for us aggression is screaming, anger and hostility. Research has been conducted on aggression among relationships. Do you know what the results were? Women show more aggression to men in relationships. Surprising, right? Now think about what you are like to your partner and consider whether you’re aggressive.




I need aggression…


What we see as young children has a huge impact on us. We often hear that as adults we look for a partner like our parents and there is nothing strange about it. We grow up and live with our parents for a long part of our lives. They become our role models and teach us how to act in a given situation.




Now let’s think about what kind of behaviour we lived with when we were younger, and in order to answer this question, it’s worth to think about what our parents are or were like.




If one of them was a person displaying aggressive behaviour, it is very possible that you are taught to live with such emotions and need them unconsciously to function in harmony with yourself. Aggression can enthral you because it stirs strong emotions, and we humans actively seek this stimulating intensity of emotions. Aggression is associated with high emotionality and a lack of control when dealing with it. Therefore, an aggressive person can be a great lover and a friend in one. Expressiveness, dynamics and energy can often be combined with aggression because all these elements are emotional. Sensitivity, care and passion also interact well with aggression. Again, aggression is not necessarily a handicap, and if it has happened, why have you allowed it? Have you ever shown any behaviour that would indicate that this would happen before?






What does hitting a woman mean?

No respect.




Now think carefully, my friend, and leave that answer to yourself…




Why doesn’t your man respect you?




Let’s change our partner’s behaviour by changing our own. The way we treat ourselves will determine how we will be treated by our men. Respect yourself – then you will be respected by him too. And remember, you’re worth it.









Aneta Sznicer

Aneta Sznicer

Founder of Mood & Read, HR specialist, copywriter, marketer, and soon to be psychologist. I help people achieve their goals by teaching social skills. Personally, I love playing the piano, dancing and singing. Anything to do with music helps me to find myself in reality. If you listen carefully, you will be able to hear your emotions. If you are able to hear them, you will know yourself even better and stronger. Thank you for visiting my website. It is a pleasure to get to know you.

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