When I was younger, I wondered what kind of problems people older than me have.

I remember once when I was skiing with my dad and in the car I didn’t talk to him. I was very overwhelmed because my relationship with my boyfriend wasn’t going well, to be more precise, it started to disappear. I was shocked because I cared about that person. I was sitting in the front seat and watching the world change dynamically while driving. We kept passing various houses and streets. The environment around us also changed – first the city, through the forest, reaching the narrow mountain paths. It was then that the question in my mind was “what kind of problems will I have next year at the same time of day?”. At that moment I understood something. I realized that worrying causes a negative attitude to everything and that my current problem will be meaningless next year.

That’s what happened.

A year later, like every year, I went on a ski trip again. I drove in the same way, this time with my cousin. Then I remembered my problems of that time and started to think back to what once was, comparing it to what is now. At that point, I was in a happy relationship that was flourishing and developing very dynamically, and my biggest concern was whether my dad would see too much absenteeism in class and draw a nasty consequence from it. I realized then that my problems were trivial and I shouldn’t worry about them because it’s a shame to waste time worrying about them.

Several good years have passed since then and my digressions about people’s problems have changed a lot through my own analysis and conversations with different people, different ages, different homes, different backgrounds and different cultures.

It doesn’t matter how old we are, what gender we are, or how emotionally developed we are: we will always have problems, and very similar ones, only relating to other people or different situations. It all depends on what moment in life we are at and what we focus on most. Our present problems, which may seem powerful and relevant, will become small and irrelevant over the years as we grow.

And you?

What is your problem?

Are you worried that your partner likes another?

Are you worried that he will leave you?

Are you afraid of being alone?

You think you can’t handle yourself?

Men, like most, feel insecure because they don’t feel self-esteem. This emotion triggers a series of behaviors that are associated with a lack of effort and commitment to the relationship.

Who of you would like to be in a relationship with a man lacking self-confidence?

Who of you would like to be in a relationship with a person with negative thinking?

Who would like to be in a relationship with a man who is afraid of life?

We humans have an incredible power, which is to feel the emotions of another person. We are able to feel the situation of the other person and put ourselves in his place thanks to empathy, which does not always have a positive influence on creating human relationships. Sometimes we get to know people with big problems who can’t cope. Sometimes we meet toxic people who have a bad influence on us. Sometimes we get to know people who always speak negatively about themselves and their loved ones. Sometimes we get to know them all, but do we decide to be with them and introduce them into our lives?

Think about yourself and focus on yourself. Stop tormenting yourself with other people’s problems. The fact that your partner likes someone else is not your problem, but his. He will have to think about what he expects from his life and from you, and when the time comes, you will know about it.

Problems don’t change, you change.

Next year you’ll forget about them anyway…