Recently, I have was given a very interesting lecture about women who choose a career path and forget about their maternal instinct and maybe even stop feeling it.
It is said that there is a conflict of priorities when performing these two roles in life because each of them requires time and dedication.
You may think: Is it possible to coincide motherhood and career?
I’m not talking about a situation in which a child is raised by grandparents or nannies. We are talking about a case in which a woman will be successful in her career whilst having and raising a child at the same time. Of course, everything depends on her work. There are many specific factors influencing this aspect, among others:
– Working time
– Possibility to work remotely, so-called Home office
– Level of hierarchy
– Level of responsibility
– Satisfaction with work
Each of these factors affects a woman and her job satisfaction as well as the possibility of combining career with motherhood. Each of us can choose the position we want to work at, whether we want to deal with finances, create graphics, make music or create something personal for ourselves. Such decisions are mostly made during high school years. This is not a rule because I meet a lot of people who, at the age of 25 or so, don’t know what they want to do. It’s just people who didn’t make such a decision due to uncertainty. These are people who have not yet found something in their lives that they would like to do and that gives them pleasure. And this is where you can safely emphasise that work and career are two completely separate topics. Work, for some, is an obligation. We work because we have to make money, and if we were given the opportunity to stop, we would take it. And a career? It’s a completely different matter. A career is about motivation and our willingness to develop. It shows that we love what we do and care about our personal fulfilment process. Unfortunately, it has to be stressed that most people, through their ignorance and rashness, simply work through obligation and their work is not a source of satisfaction.
Now let’s think about what it is like for a woman who raises a child and wants to coincide her career with motherhood. Of course, this is possible if we want it. However, everything depends on the above factors, which are crucial to time management.
Do you know how much time you waste every day? You can’t make up your mind in time and it seems to you that you are doing so much… And this is not true at all. I personally met a woman who, having two children and a job, finds time for everything. She talked about how she’s doing it, and this is what she told me:
“It’s not difficult. To raise children you need to sacrifice and make time, I agree, but it must be stressed that as babies they sleep a lot. I use this time. Then I have the perfect break, if I may call it a break at all. Later, when they wake up, I go back to taking care of them. You see, I taught them to lie in their beds alone and that’s what happens. I’m in the same room then and I can see them, but they can take care of themselves even though they’re very small. It’s the parents’ fault, who show their children from a very young age that 100% attention has to be paid to them and, as you know, children quickly learn this kind of behaviour and then demand it themselves. When it comes to sleeping, I don’t complain either, but maybe it’s because my husband is very supportive and helpful. We have established that one night he wakes up to take care of the little ones and the other night I do. This helps a lot because it allows us to both get some sleep. There are no situations in which I fall off my feet because I get up a few nights in a row and fall asleep during the day. I work from home so, as I have said before, I can balance these two aspects. Anyone who wants to fulfil themselves both professionally and maternally can do it with the right attitude.”
This woman is right.
Any woman can maintain productivity while having a child.
Every woman can be satisfied with her life.
Every woman can have a partner who will support and help her.
Every woman has a choice.
And saying that it cannot be done is the easiest thing to say.
Saying that it can’t be done is an excuse for your laziness.
Saying that it’s impossible to do it is a reason why you can’t really do it.
Say to yourself: I’ll do it, I’ll succeed because I’m capable. And believe in your own words. Then it will happen…